JellO
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: For some horrors...there are just no words.  You have been warned.


Jell-O

It should be noted, as a matter of fact, that numerous young ladies often made a few extra bucks at these sorts of events. It should also be noted that most teens desperately hope _their_ mother was not one of these ladies, and if so, that the shameful family secret will never be revealed to the world at large.

* * *

Kim was up late, the TV in her room turned to the music channel. Kim sighed, and went to work again on her Latin paper.

Then, the phone rang.

"Hello?" Kim blinked. Why was… "Bonnie, what is it."

"Kim, turn to the TV Trash, _right now"._ Bonnie said, sounding freaked. Kim blinked, and did so.

"On TV Trash, it's the battle of the Jell-O College babes! Tonight, for charity, they put their books aside for bikini's and…"

"Bonnie, that is _disgusting!_" Kim said, "Why did you even call, I mean if I did, that even for Charit…" Her eyes fell on the "Red Baronness." The one with the blue eyes, and the familiar face, in the tiny, _tiny_ Bikini…"

"Oh no." Kim said.

"Oh, _no._" Kim said again.

"_Oh, _no." She repeated, just because.

That was not her mother.

That was not her mother in a bikini, who had just dived into a jell-O filled tube and was… was…. The horrified squeak from the other end of the phone confirmed it.

Lady Devastation _was_ in fact Bonnie's mom, and she and her mom were….

"What are we going to do!" Bonnie wailed. A pause, "I mean, besides change our names, shave our heads and become nuns for some mysterious religious order headquartered in the Black Forest."

"Look… it's a late showing, maybe…"

"It's a late showing because they screwed up the schedule, Kim! It's supposed to show tomorrow at 4:30 PM…when everyone is getting home from school!" A pause, and annoyance. "You can do anything—save my reputation from total, and I mean utter destruction—do you know that some of the geeks at school might print screenshots and put them on lockers….or…or….on T-shirts! AAAAAIIIIGGGGHHH!"

"Calm down Bonnie." Kim said, in mission mode. "Wait one moment," She put the phone down, grabbed a paper bag and quickly hyperventilated into it. Good, better. She was…. calmer. Sort of.

"We're going to break into the TV Trash building and steal those tapes."

"Isn't that a crime?" Bonnie asked.

"Hey Bonnie, does your mom still have that bikini?" Kim mimicked a male voice.

"Good point—and if we get arrested we can always go on the run, on the way to the Convent."

"_Bonnie!_" Kim said, "We're not going to go to a Convent…meet me at the school in 30 minutes." With that, she dove for the Kimmunicator. Wade needed to help her on this—by purging any online files and arranging a drive…

And by being informed that there were something's worse than death—like what would happen to him if he _kept_ any copies.

* * *

"And in the news, the TV Trash Headquarters suffered a minor fire last night. The Director, J. M. Schyster was puzzled:

'It was a very small fire, we think possibly set deliberately, but nobody could have gone through the security like that, and why would they set a fire to destroy one season of Classy Jell-O Babes For Charity?'

"Possibly someone who still has hopes for quality TV, Mr. Schyster. In other news, Dr. Drakken was arrested after accidentally posting his address on a Police BBS…"

* * *

"Victory!" Bonnie and Kim said at Bueno Nacho. Ron, Monique, Felix and Brick were looking at them.

"Synthodrones…gotta be." Ron said.

"Alien pod people man, that's what it _really _is." Felix countered.

"Mind control?" Monique asked.

"Maybe they just finally went completely round the bend." Brick added, watching the frightening image of Bonnie and Kim being nice to each other.

* * *

"Well, we know it was them."

"Bon-Bon?"

"Of course…they were both up, they were watching TV…"

"But you're not going to turn them in, are you?"

"Of course not!" Blue eyes crinkled in a look that Mr. Dr. P knew well. "But we should pay them back…it _was_ a crime, after all….just follow my lead. Kim didn't tell the truth about being in all night, so I have no compunctions…about telling a little fib myself."

* * *

"Kimmie!" Kim and Bonnie looked up. There was her mother, and Bonnie's mother.

_Did we get caught?_

_"_Did you hear about that terrible fire at TV Trash HQ?" Bonnie almost spit up her coke, as Kim frantically shook her head.

"No, Mom…why?"

"Oh, it was terrible… my and Bonnie's mother's only appearance on TV…destroyed."

"Oh, yeah…that's, um…horrible." Kim said. It was horrible, she reminded herself. She was not to leap up in the air and do a cheer.

"and because it was for charity, well, that money was going go to charity…"

"Oh." Kim said, trying to school her face to sorrow.

"So, we talked with the TV Trash executives, and all the old stars…"

"Yes?" Bonnie said, identical looks of dread rising on the teens faces.

"And they're going to let us re-enact the entire thing _live!_" She paused, "Mr. Barkin even said they could use the gym…isn't that nice of him…" Dr. Possible turned, Bonnie's mom waving at her paralyzed daughter. "Anyway, Bonnie's mother and I are just going to pick some non-stain bikinis…will you be there dears?" Kim's eye was developing an alarming twitch. Bonnie was staring and trying to say something. Unfortunately.

"Oh, uh, jelly-big…movie….nunnery…."

"Oh that's nice Bon-Bon…. Bye-bye!" With that, the two mothers left.

"They're going….They're going…."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE….." Two identical voices rose…two bodies slid off chairs and hit the floor. Ron, Monique, Brick and Felix looked down at them.

"Dude…they're down." Brick said.

"And foaming at the mouth." Ron added.

End.


End file.
